


The past is no more

by Rogercat



Series: Queen of Doriath [4]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Bisexual Female Character, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, F/M, Family Issues, First Age, Gender or Sex Swap, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Lovers, Marriage, Marriage of Convenience, Multi, Valinor, headcanons, meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 03:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12334983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogercat/pseuds/Rogercat
Summary: When Melian arrives to a victory-gala to celebrate the victory over Morgoth, she learns that her actions affected those left behind





	The past is no more

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mangacrack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangacrack/gifts).



> Author’s note: I intend this to be set some months after the War of Wrath in Valinor, when the Host of the Valar and the Elves have returned. A small spin-off to the ongoing story Crowns and Feelings which is co-written by me and Mangacrack. This is based on my own headcanons and how things may turn out in various relationship in that story.

Olwë had been wise in allowing the returning Elves a few months of rest, before sending out invitations to a victory-gala held at his palace in Alqualondë. Surely the various royal families could meet?

 

As Finrod did not wish to leave his wife Amarië, who was heavy with their first child and would give birth only half a year away, Finarfin allowed his eldest son to rule Tirion temporary, just like he had done during the War of Wrath, while he and Eärwen went to Alqualondë. A long journey, even in a comfortable carriage, was not always pleasant for a pregnant mother and even so during the last few weeks before birth.

“Your Highness Arafinwë, a message bird just arrived!” a servant called just as Finarfin was about to enter the carriage after his wife.

The High King opened the letter he was given. A short one, only confirming a fellow invitation to the victory-gala and a request to meet halfway there.

“Seems like Nerdanel, her two law-daughters and Anairë have been invited as well. Not a so big surprise, given what we found out which had happen in Doriath following Thingol's death. I only hope that people will not be rude to them, both of my brothers were High Kings of the Noldor for a while, even with very different reigns and thus both of their wives are counted as Queen Consorts in my eyes.” Finarfin spoke in clear distaste at remembering how people flat out had been whispering that poor Nerdanel _deserved_ to be a widow without her sons, with all the crimes they were rumored to have committed in Middle-Earth as time passed. Finarfin knew that such rumours was pure nonsense, and any reborn Fëanorian soldiers was quick to loudly protest such talking with the actual truth. Or at least what they had known at the time of their deaths.

“Ara, stop delaying yourself and get into the carriage before the rain clouds releases the incoming rain!” Eärwen called from inside the royal carriage, taking hold of his sleeve and pulling him inside.

~X~X~X~X~X~X

As expected, many famed people had gathered at the victory-gala to celebrate the victory over Morgoth. Yet one guest was not really invited, rather she had snuck inside in a desperate attempt to get updated news on what had happened in Middle-earth since leaving it. Why? She had been held in a strict “house-arrest” by the two former Ladies she once had served, Vána and Estë, because of several events in Middle-Earth they had not liked her to be linked with. She knew that if she was caught, a cell in the Halls of Mandos awaited her for breaking out of the house arrest. 

 

Melian thought that it was strange to once again have a body of flesh and blood, after so many years of spiritual form. Yet she linked it to some of her finest memories, such as being the Queen of Doriath at Thingol's side and the birth of Luthien. Her clothing in wine red and silver embroidery seemed to be a bit out of date when looking around at what the other ladies was wearing, but there was several Sindar Elves present who she recognized, also dressed in the old style of Doriath while Thingol had ruled. If she awaited a little, they may spot her.

“Lady Mother!”

A law-daughter addressing the mother of her husband somewhere, sounding happy to see her in-laws.

“Grandmother Anairë, I am so glad that you could come.”

“Lómion, there is no need to be so formal. You are my own grandson by my dear daughter after all. Now come here, your grandfather loved this dance and I plan to dance with him again once he is reborn.”

“Not straight away, I hope, or did you fail to hear uncle Argon complain about how difficult it was to control his limbs at first?”

“I am still not used to hear people use the Sindarin form of Arakáno even after all those years, sweetie.”

A pair of relatives, both black-haired yet the young male spoke in the Sindarin of Middle-Earth, dancing around together as music was starting to play. Yet as they moved out of her view, Melian caught sight of some people talking to each others. Most of them wore Noldor clothing, and the young male…

Something was oddly familiar with that youngster. Pale blonde hair caught in a long braid, a long leather coat under a half-hidden cloak reaching down to the ankles where a pair of well-used boots could be hinted. A rather broad hand reached up to pull the hair back behind a ear, which was not very pointed at all. As the youngster turned, the cloak revealed a large eight-rayed Fëanorian star in silver on a green bottom. And it seemed to be sewn over…

The forest emblem which had been the symbol of Doriath. And now, at turning around, it was revealed that it was no youngster but a female, wearing a silver circlet with a similar Fëanorian star, expect with a large ruby in the center and small emeralds at the pointing ends of the star. In fact, she did send a surprising cold glare towards Melian, a set of eyes grey as steel shining with a fire not seen last time they had spoken to each others. Realizing who it must be, Melian was taken back in a manner similar to how she had felt when Luthien had chosen to become a mortal to remain with Beren.

“ _How is it possible?! Born to mortal parents...everyone believed it to become a short life, passing away in the blink of an eye…! Yet here she stands, with barely any signs of old age which mortals ends up having! By any means, she should have been dead a long time ago!_ ”

The female Elf left those she had talked with, even bowing in the manner of a male instead of doing a curtsy, and went towards the open balcony where the Swan Ships of the Teleri could be seen below. Melian followed after.

~X~X~X~X~X~X

There on the balcony did she stand, looking at the full moon towards the distant lands of Middle-Earth. Did she long for her homeland, regretting to come to Valinor where her rank was only one of many royals?

“ ** _Melian._ ** ”

Dior did not sound like the unsure young woman she had been, now her voice had matured a bit more and even deepened. It was not the graceful movements of a woman in which she turned around, it was the commanding manner of a leader who expected to be obeyed without questions. She had been a lot more boyish than her mother Luthien, showing it in her behaviour at growing up. At this close, Melian saw two healed scars over the left eye, looking like something made from sharp claws. There was no sight of blindness in the eye, thankfully. but the scars hardened a face which one had been familiar for Melian yet now it was not. This was a stranger, someone who would never bow down to Thingol again. This was the heir he had wanted, not the son he desperately had tried to make her bear after that Luthien became mortal, to have a immortal child to succeed him when Luthien showed no signs of pregnancy again after the birth of her only daughter, who now stood in front of Melian.  

“Princess...no, my granddaughter…”

Without warning, Dior suddenly slapped away Melian's hand, preventing her from touching.

“ _That princess you prefer me as is dead, she is no more. That time in my life is long gone. The burden of Queenship at a such young age made my innocence die a little each passing day. Long gone is that child I once was._ ”

It was harsh words, brought up by Dior's old feelings of abandonment from Melian who had never been around to help her in that difficult first time as Queen of Doriah. Melian tried to say anything, yet Dior would not allow it. She glared over at some of the former Doriath nobles as she spoke on:

“ _Untrusted by my own people for my youth, they sold me in marriage to a possible enemy. Child bride, they claims in rumours, when my mortal blood made me mature enough to bear an heir of my own. A husband, who ended up trusting me like one of his own brothers, who gave me the respect I never got as Queen in Doriath! He even accepted a secret of mine, which you and grandfather never would have done! And why I still wears the mark of his family despite widowhood? They never saw me as an imperfect version of my_ _MOTHER_ _!!_ ”

Melian was pushed back by the controlled power unleashed by the outburst,  a far cry from the lack of control Dior had been having over her inherited Maia powers in her youth.

One of her biggest issues was, and still were, how people had seemed to refuse to accept the flaws Luthien had in personality. Dior hated how she was viewed as perfect, and how people failed to remember the tragedies brought in the shadow of her parents' famed love.Those people treated Luthien's later mortality as a big mistake, yet Dior had learned from Námo himself that her mortality had been the price to pay for how that love actually was selfish when not telling of the blood and grief it had caused. As for Dior being an only child, it had been the punishment for the couple causing so much trouble for the other Elven realms in Middle-earth.

“ ** _Once my grandfather died in that manner he did, you lost your position as queen of Doriath._ ** **_I_** **_am the ruling Queen of Doriath, Queen Consort to the now late Lord of Himring, mother and maternal grandmother to the four Princes of Doriath. As for the woman who choose a Silmaril over her own family...do you know how it felt, Melian, to see your _ ** **_own daughter_** **_fall for the greed over the Silmaril which caught grandfather, and how she used_ ** **_your powers_** **_to cut up Maedhros' old scar, the one on his right arm resulting from lord Fingon needing to cut off his hand to free him?!  To see a massive amount of blood straining him, hearing the horrified screams from our_ ** **_twin grandsons_** **_at seeing their own mother_ ** **_nearly killing_ ** **_their beloved giant to grandfather? How Elwing then pushed her sons into his chest, sending all three over the cliff edge as if she actually wanted to slay _ ** **_her own kin_** ** _!?_ **

The dishonor of Elwing's selfish actions, the memory of all the blood and fear of losing her family again, still haunted Dior in nightmares. It was not without reason in which they had disowned their daughter as a member of the House of Fëanor and possible heir to Doriath once it became clear that she was unlikely to return. Dior knew that her difficult mother-daughter relationship to Elwing was haunted by her own strained relationship to Luthien, proving how great beauty offered no actual parental skills, and how similar Elwing had grown in appearance to her famed grandmother.

“Dior...please, let me explain…”

“You abandoned me and Doriath the moment your key to power, your husband, was killed. Nothing can excuse that. Yet thanks to that, I was able to eventually become the _Soldier Queen of Doriath , the Fëanorian War Queen_. Titles neither mother or grandfather can brag to carry. He is remembered for his isolated realm and greed for the bride price he wanted for his daughter, she for a mad love which ended up dragging her homeland into the war against Morgoth, all for a gemstone which I gave back to Maedhros at our wedding as _my_ bride price.”

Giving Melian a final glare which told her to never be around her again, Dior walked back into the ballroom. There, she offered a dance to Nimloth, taking the place of the male dancer. The tender looks between them, told Melian what secret Dior had meant; that she was bisexual, drawn to both genders, and had been in a relationship with Nimloth despite being married to Maedhros.

 

“There she is!”

Several Maiar, who had been sent to re-capture Melian after her escape, had spotted her and the former Queen of Doriath had barely started to escape back inside before she was captured again.

“Our Ladies told you that by the orders of the Elder King, you are forbidden contact with the Children after what you did with Thingol of Doriath! Come, you are going back to your cell in the Halls of Mandos for being here!” one of them hissed in her ear, mindful of not letting the Elves see what was going on the balcony.  

 

And back in the ballroom, Dior had just taken her law-mother Nerdanel into a dance, taking the chance to give her more details about how married life had been for her and Maedhros at Himring.

 


End file.
